The Surprise

So, yesterday I wrote about my thoughts and serendipity. During the night of Nikolaus, I woke up at 5 am and was awake for the next two hours. The night was cold, it was 2 grad Celcius. I wrote Thomas an email about what a home means, as those thoughts come and go. My fingers were cold and I tried to go back to sleep. I managed to fall asleep again. I also remember seeing the first sign of the day as I digged deeper into the sleeping bag to keep my nose warm.

The next thing I remember is that I heard a sound. It was our backyard door. As I opened my eyes....I saw Thomas, he was coming towards me, the same way I had dreamed about it some days ago. He was here, here with me. He came all the way up from LA to give me a gift, and to spend the day with me. I was in awe.
The whole day I was in awe and could not believe that one had done that for me. The moment I did not expect anything at all, it came to me. I felt lucky like I felt as a kid. And I was happy to have Thomas around me for one whole day. That was a Nikolaus I will always remember.
This was also the first night I slept inside the house, in a room. It was warm, I could hear the heater going on and off many times during the night, as the morning came and people were preparing for the day it was noisy, and I felt a distinct comfort level as I was not alone.

My wish came true.

There isn't any formula or method, we learn to love by loving.

A nice evening with too much Sangria...

between then and now

Today is the night before Nikolaus-day. When I was young, I would clean the biggest shoe I had and put it outside our flat. I knew that the next morning something would be in that boot. I knew that my mother would make sure, with all care and love, that I would be happy the moment I would dig into that boot and bring out the stuff she had put in overnight.

Today, I was finishing a bathroom remodeling project for my friends. I was in my thoughts about those years. I thought I had many wishes, mostly small once, but they would always come true.

Today, I had a rough day. I felt like nothing comes true I wish for, no matter how hard I try. I also learned that I do not trust anybody, except for one person. And that,  this is the reason my wishes come not true.

I was wondering what has changed - me or the times.

Just as I was surrounded by this thought, my friend Carmen came to me and started to talk with me.

We talked a while and finally I saw that they had bought me something and a  card. It was at my desk in their house.

Serendipity? I do not know. Today we also got our fridge after a week of no fridge in a household of 9 people. Between soccer, music lessons, shopping, and driving of some of the kids, they got me this cutting board, the biggest available, and cutting knifes - an early xmas gift, for me to continue what I had started- maybe to find back into a life with a home and job. There it was at my desk. A card saying piece, hope and love for Utele, from the crazy Hähnchen. I am puzzeled in what to do.

Today, I also thought of quitting all that, since I feel I lost my recently gained "home-base".

I am not sure what to do.I am not sure what is right.

If I could put a boot ouside for tomorrow morning, I would know that I would not get what I wish for.

But not having put out a boot at all, I got what I wished for days ago. I should be happy with what I have.

I am thankful for the love I feel in this house...to trust is what I need.

Unique Quilted Christmas Calendars

Finished my first production line - 2009 Quilted Advent Calendars - see my unique items on http://www.craftio.com/ or at etsy.com via the links on the product pictures.

Etsy: Your place to buy & sell all things handmade Craftio.etsy.com

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